"The Most Special Of Days"

"You're getting married where?"

"Canmore," responded our son James. "It's near Banff, Cat and I both love it. It's so beautiful, it'll be great!"

Sue and I were out for dinner with James and his fiance Catherine, a.k.a. Cat, and while we knew she'd said yes, this was our first discussion concerning actual wedding details.

They'd already touched our hearts by asking us for permission to "share" our 39th anniversary date of October 17, 2009. "That way," James explained, "your 40th will be on the same day as our 1st and maybe we'll be able to do something together, the four of us!"

Sue and I were elated at the prospect of this wedding, on our anniversary date or otherwise. Both Cat and James were deeply involved with theatre, they'd been together over 6 years and they obviously knew one another soul to soul. To us, the timing was ideal. Another impressive signal; their quiet air of mutual respect, admiration and love. Keenly aware of one another's feelings and presence, Cat and James were destined to be together and things were about move forward.

Still, Sue and I had serious misgivings about their venue choice. A prairie boy visualizing an outdoor service in the mountains of Alberta in mid-October, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with one vision - blizzard! Alternately, the kids seemed to dismiss this possibility with a wave of their collective hand.

It was around then we began to realize they had a plan, an overwhelming faith in that plan and the moxy, the contacts and the imagination to pull it off. As the weeks and months went by the wedding details unfolded, in their vernacular, to rave reviews!

I'd never seen a "save-a-date" note before but one arrived three or four months before the ceremony. It was a cute, funny little card, designed and printed by Cat and James and they'd sent them to their invitees. The idea was to advise people of the wedding date and to let them know they'd be receiving a formal invitation later on.

The save-a-date note included the address of a wonderful little website, designed, maintained and routinely updated by Cat's brother Matt. The site provided details concerning the couple; where they met, how James proposed etc. There were pictures of the area surrounding Canmore, the town itself and the specific venue, the Nordic Center, as well as hotel suggestions and the times and places for the various events. I found the entire idea extremely thoughtful and we had more than a few compliments from other surprised and pleased recipients.

As other events unfolded, it became apparent this wedding would be a little different and a lot more fun than many others preceding it.

This next section may seem a little out of synch but fear not, it will transform into a necessary story component!

Unlike most teens, James displayed little or no interest in learning to drive. He kept his learner's permit current for identification purposes and while he made a few half-hearted attempts to get a full blown license over the years, he never seemed to feel an urgency to get it done. Then a little over a month before the wedding, James did a one-eighty, called me and asked if I'd help him pass his driver's test. I agreed immediately.

For the next few weeks I'd drive over to James' house just about every day and get him behind the wheel. Don't tell him I said this but frankly, he was a natural. We stuck pretty close to home the first day but within two subsequent days he was highway and freeway driving, taking on heavy city traffic during rush hour, parallel parking - the works. By the day he took his practical driving exam, he had it cold and passed with no problem, as I was certain he would. But that wasn't the exciting part!






Cat has a driver's license but she hadn't driven in years. The day after James passed his test, just two days before their wedding, he and Cat rented a car for the trip to Canmore. By 4:00 p.m. Friday, James was battling his way through Calgary rush hour, headed for the Banff highway. This was part of his first solo as a licensed driver, though from what I understand, Cat did a terrific job of riding shotgun.

Nobody will ever convince James he's a procrastinator. He has an uncanny sense of exactly when there's sufficient time to put things together and I have to say, he has a pretty good track record. Anyone who knows James Hamilton as an actor/writer/director has seen him pull off miracles in theatrical productions and he carries that magic into other aspects of his life. Sometimes.

To some folks, this whole learning to drive/rental car scenario is amusing enough as anecdotes go, but regardless, I was damned proud of James. This was only one example of his dogged determination to ensure their wedding would be as near to perfect as he and Cat could make it.

Cat's efforts mirrored James' as she planned, directed and enabled every detail for the wedding itself and the events leading up to it. From venues to menus, from registering to finding a gown, from helping bridesmaids to finding a Justice of the Peace, Cat had taken on the role of SUPER-BRIDE; ultra-efficient but far calmer and more beautiful than the oft mentioned, over-hyped "Bridezilla". She nimbly caught, juggled then resolved most every facet of the weekend. An example; in their wedding invitations Cat and James even included a separate one for my 60th birthday party, which they graciously hosted immediately after their rehearsal dinner!

While James and Cat needed to be in Canmore by Thursday to finalize a number or items, Sue and I were able to take things a bit slower and our presence wasn't actually needed until early Friday evening.

Once we were settled in and Dave the Dog had been familiarized with his hotel room and outdoor "facilities", we looked up Cat and James. Given the overall frantic nature of the past few days, I was expecting to find them frazzled, befuddled and in dire need of our help. I couldn't have been, as James often said as a tyke, "wronger".


They were all smiles and efficiency. Everything was either in place or very close and they appeared somehow relaxed yet excited, and very, very happy! As the weekend proceeded, their calm, almost whimsical demeanor seemed to place everyone around them in a similar state. When a potential "problem" arose, anyone involved with the wedding seemed to subconsciously slip into an idyllic state and quickly resolve the issue, often under everyone else's radar. Not to overstate, but this wedding was becoming something as close to perfect as any I've ever seen.

The rehearsal dinner provided the opportunity for us to meet Cat's family for the first time, just as it introduced Cat to a number of genetic skeletons from Sue's and my family closets too! We dined with her Mom and Dad and while there's always a bit of trepidation in these circumstances, once again the overall joy exuded by Cat and James erased any trace of awkwardness. The families had all but meshed as one before dessert!

After the festivities, Sue and I returned to the hotel to find towels stuffed under our door, from the outside. Apparently Dave the Dog had been very persistent in vocalizing his objections to being left alone. Within an hour the solution arrived in the form of our friend and neighbor Darlene and, of particular importance to Dave, her little Bichon, Chloe. These two have been best buds since they were puppies. At 12 and 11 years old respectively, they have a mutual calming effect and fortunately, there were no repeat performances for the duration of our stay. Like magic, the absentee barking problem was remedied.

That night as we were falling asleep, Sue realized it was now officially Saturday, our 39th anniversary. We've practiced a tradition for more years than we can remember and despite Darlene's and Chloe's presence in the adjacent bed, we decided to follow it. In a low, hushed tone we began singing the "Happy Anniversary Song" from the Flinstones: "Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary, HAPPY Anniversary, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Anniversary" etc. Darlene laughed so hard I thought I may have to lend her one of my "Depends"!

Finally the big day arrived. The wedding service was outdoors, in an area adjacent to Canmore's Nordic Centre, home to Canada's Olympic Cross Country Ski Team. The weather was overcast, but warm and promising. Just before the service began there was slight misty rain in the air but less than two minutes in, it stopped.

The wedding procession remained consistent with the spirit of the entire event; very appropriate yet fun, light and just a little different. The guests were seated then Sue and I, along with Cat's Mom and Dad, proceeded down the aisle. Once we were seated, the groomsmen and the bridesmaids were next and finally, James, Cat and the Justice of the Peace brought up the rear together.

Cat and James had asked for a non-religious ceremony and the JP agreed, on one condition. With a mischievous wink he'd asked if he could keep the service details to himself until the actual ceremony. Incredibly, but not surprisingly, James and Cat agreed! I didn't learn of this until later but regardless, the agreement manifested itself in the sheer delight of the couple as the service progressed. They were absolutely beaming throughout and of course, their reaction was contagious. The JP had them kissing roughly every ninety seconds and by their fifth or sixth kiss, the congregation was in stitches!

I recall taking a few seconds during the service to marvel at the majestic mountains and the peaceful yet gleeful presence of the people around me. I was overtaken by a lightness, an all encompassing joy I'd experienced only once before; at James' birth. Sue and I agreed later, we were both aware of the presence of our departed parents, and their participation felt as natural and real as if they'd been in attendance. The wedding was indeed a wondrous event.

The reception was in the Nordic Centre and it started immediately following the service. Once again Cat's classy, simply perfect signature was as evident as it had been with each step leading to this fantastic culmination. The hall was immaculate with ceiling to floor windows and an inspirational view of the Three Sisters Mountains. As Cat and James entered, their joy was utterly tangible and the overall mixture of fun and wonder continued to fill everyone there. At one point I recall briefly scanning the room to see if I could find even one unsmiling face and not surprisingly, I could not. After all, I was grinning too.

The remainder of the reception was magical, a whirling blend of warmth and whimsy. The evening evolved into a blend of sumptuous food, drink, dancing, conversation, reunion, hilarious speeches and incredible fun. Even their guestbook was extraordinary! Cat and James had everyone fill out a form, including a hand-drawn self portrait and a request for marital advice. The results were entertaining beyond belief! The two families and all the couple's wonderful friends melded perfectly and for those few hours, none of us felt there was a care in the world, and we were right.

In my heart I hoped the evening would never end but of course, it did. Sue, Darlene and I returned to our hotel and after receiving a few friends and imbibing just a teeny bit more, we took the pups for a quick walk/pottie break. We then literally fell into our beds, exhausted.

Before falling to sleep, I recalled an encounter I'd had with a convenience store clerk the day before the wedding. She asked me what had brought us to Canmore. When I responded, "We're here for our son's wedding," she'd beamed and said, "A wedding! Ah yes, the most special of days!"

Who could have possibly foreseen just how true that ladies statement would become?

p.s.

There was one more element absolutely crucial to the success of the aforementioned celebration, particulary as it pertained to the groom. Her spirit, courage and willingness to do anything required utterly demands a future post on this blog dedicated to her alone; the woman, the Goddess, a genuine force of nature, the one, the only ELDA!!! So, who you were expecting? Mother Theresa? Elda did a better job, you'll see!