"Elda"

Her name is Elda Pinckney.

Now in her early thirties, Elda was introduced to our family by our son James roughly 15 years ago. She was one of James best friends from school. They had a mutual affection for theatre and shared a quirky sense of humor. A blend of beauty, wit, humor and intelligence, Elda was personable beyond her years.

That summer, she volunteered to tutor James in Biology 30 so he could matriculate, attend Red Deer College and enroll in their esteemed theatre arts program. She came over daily and while there was a degree of fun, her purpose was clear. She was there to work and an obviously grateful James was "into it" too.

Initially, I thought Elda might be one of James' prospective high school "conquests" and he was about to take a run at her. I couldn't have been more mistaken. I soon realized they'd established a platonic yet affectionate bond. They were very relaxed around one another and the depth of their friendship was obvious. I would soon see the protective aspect of this friendship firsthand!

Christine was a young lady James was seeing at the time, but he'd been struggling to find a way to break things off without hurting her. Elda sat through a number of fumbling, awkward phone conversations until finally, she'd had enough. "Gimme the phone," she snapped. "Christine? This is Elda. You and James are over, okay? What does he have to do before you get it, hit you with a board? Are we good now? Great. Bye."

James stood there, ashen-faced as Elda hung up the phone and said, "Look, I'm sorry but that had to be done. You were hurting her by trying to be the nice guy. Sometimes that doesn't work."

Earlier in the summer James had come through in a similar manner while in Ft. McMurray for their annual comedy festival. Elda, James, Collin Doyle and a few other pals had written, put together and were performing a number of skits. After a late performance, a friend of someone in the cast went to the hotel room shared by 6 or 7 cast members. He was looking for a spot to crash. After consuming way too many beers, he drunkenly crawled into bed with a sound asleep Elda and started groping her. At that moment, James entered the room.

Collin told me later, "James went postal. I knew he had a temper but... wow." The friend eventually sobered up, realized he'd made an idiotic move and apologized. All was forgiven by everyone, particularly Elda, by the time they left Fort Mac. Well, maybe not everyone. James doesn't discuss the incident and he can barely stomach the guy to this day.

These two events clearly illustrate how far James and Elda will go for one another. Platonic? Yes. Committed? Without question.

The summer progressed, as did James' biology knowledge, and their friendship deepened. As friends are apt to do, they commiserated over everything from their respective futures to relationships to pizza, often in the same sentence! While they discovered each other as kindred spirits, they also grew to know and embrace their differences.

From almost the first day, Elda addressed Sue and I as "Mom" and "Dad". This caught us off guard at first it soon became clear she meant it as a term of endearment. It felt a bit odd initially but we quickly came to accept and appreciate Elda as a family friend and in a way, a pseudo-daughter.

James eventually passed Biology, went on to Red Deer College and successfully completed their Theatre Arts program. This provided the foundation for an acting/writing/producing career that's alive and well to this day. Elda went on to the University of Alberta and despite the obvious distance issues, their friendship continued to flourish.


We all endure times when things go terribly wrong and of course, James and Elda were no different. Relatively commonplace events like breakups and lousy jobs were mixed with more dire scenarios. In James' case it was a life threatening illness and just before that, Elda went through a horrific house-fire and developed a serious illness of her own a few years later. The amazing thing about these two is their ability to be there for one another, regardless of distance, impact or the relativity of the event. No matter, their solid mutual support system remains a constant.

Upon completing school Elda moved to Vancouver while James spent his first post college year in Red Deer before eventually moving back to Edmonton. They each went through a few relationships but today, I'm happy to report that Elda has met and married a man she'll love and cherish forever. How do I know? Elda said so.

As written in my earlier post "The Most Special of Days," James met his forever love Catherine (Cat) 6 years ago and they were married in October of 2009. James asked Collin and Elda to be his "best men" and both readily accepted. Though Collin lives in Edmonton, he and Elda coordinated their roles perfectly, including the second most important ritual of the entire event, the infamous "Bachelor Party"! Within days of her recruitment Elda began gathering guest names and with Collin, planning the actual event. They decided to tell James there would be a "small event" on a predetermined evening to ensure his availability, but that was all.

In short, the party was epic. I'd planned to make an appearance, hand Elda some cover/gift money, wish everyone well and split. I had little interest in watching a bunch of guys get my son drunk and I wasn't much for peelers either. It's okay, you can say it; fuddy duddy!

There were about 15 guys involved and within 5 minutes of hearing the ENTIRE plan for the evening, I called Sue to let her know I wouldn't be drinking but I'd be sticking around. I wasn't about to miss this.

It started out with beers and eight ball in an old-style Whyte Avenue pool room, then once all were present and accounted for, we moved across the street to one of James' favorite eating spots, Chili's, for dinner. After a sumptuous meal, Elda led us to the alley adjacent to Chili's and there sat our evening's transportation; a pristine, white Hummer stretch limo! We all piled in, broke open a few "pops" and headed to a Celtic Pub downtown. Though he's six feet tall, he only weighs about a buck thirty and he has an oddly prodigious capacity for beer. After the pub visit, he was only showing a little wear. 

We piled into the limo again and we opened a few more pops and headed for our next stop, the peeler bar at the top of the Sherwood Park Freeway, of course! I'll spare the details but suffice to say, not much had changed in the 20+ years since my last visit and a good but not "stupid good" time was had by all, particularly the groom. There was one moment when James asked for my cell phone. He'd fallen in love with a 6 foot 3 inch amazon peeler and wanted to inform Cat, "The wedding's off!"

Once more into the limo, back to Whyte Avenue and within minutes we'd pulled up to James' favorite karaoke bar! This is when and where my brother Bruce and I opted for home but before I left, I gave Elda and Collin my sincere thanks for James' perfect evening. James called the next day and declared the event as "one of the best party nights of my life". With his best buddy Elda in charge, he should have expected little else.

As fate would have it, Elda's in Edmonton tonight for her annual Christmas visit with her amazing parents, Joyce and Bill. There will be a table groaning with trays of goodies, a fully stocked kitchen bar and a houseful of friends and relatives. I'll enjoy all that of course, but I know my heart will skip the same beat it always does whenever I see my beautiful, talented, joyous "dotter from anudder mudder", Elda.

(Please note. Elda lost her amazing mother Joyce in December of 2015 to cancer.)