Blatherings

• When I was in my early 60s and I'd tell people my age I'd hear, "No way! You look 45, maybe 50 but not 64!" Now when I tell folks I'm 65, I get, "Uh-uh, that's cool." What?!? In one YEAR?!? 
• As if I needed it, yet another sign of my rapidly advancing years: Every time I "Google" someone, I'm find I'm older than him or her, even when I've thought "there's no effing way!" Sigh. 
• We finally saw "Silver Linings Playbook". The way the writers and actors handled mental health issues with compassion and deftness, while avoiding the usual cinematic sugar coating, was both a joy and a relief. 
• Took a fall down the steps today with a arm full of laundry. I wasn't hurt and while I didn't see my life flash before my eyes, I did get a glimpse of my reality. I cannot afford to get hurt. 
• With the snow all but gone, I've this incredible urge to race outside and start raking. Or not. 
• We're about an hour into the movie "The Life Of Pi" and I'm thinking, "Now here's a big ol' slice of my life I'll never get back." 
• We've been watching a lot of home swap/renovation shows lately. After almost every program, I am totally psyched to jump up and do a few things around here. Thankfully, a snack and a short nap usually takes care of that. 
• I miss the huge, raucous family Christmas dinners from my childhood. 15 to 20 guests were not uncommon; old people, young people, children, babies, even pets. 
• Yesterday I noticed the ruching on a young lady's dress was badly bunched. Today I asked my wife to explain the difference between a bustier and a camisole. What the hell has happened to me? Project Runway, Fashion Police and too much daytime TV happened to me. How sad. 
• I was recently approached by 2 young Mormon men while walking Dave the dog. One asked if he could tell me about my eternity. I replied, "Certainly, then I'll tell you what the gays have done to the soil", and they walked away! Go figure. 
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• My childhood friend and the best athlete on our block, Jim Short, barely survived a heart attack just before Christmas. Lately, mortality keeps tapping me on the shoulder. 
• It's official. My hockey resurrection has come to an end. Tonight I turned quickly (?) from skating forward to backward and broke my ass. A half hour later, and with the help of one of the kids, I got my skates off, my boots on and dragged my broken ass home. Pathetic. 
• Have you ever encountered a life altering issue over which you've no control and can't avoid, but somehow, you've managed to live with it? Then, just for a moment, the issue wins and for that moment, you're utterly defeated, ground into the dirt. The good news; when that control returns, and it does eventually, you're often stronger for the experience. 
• I've noticed lately, a lot of people I know and some I care for deeply, are into agnosticism. I'm not sure why, but this saddens me. 
• The true measure of a genuine fool is often easy to define because they do it for you; willingly, readily and often. 
• Watching way too much TV again: My latest gripe - this kid says his Coca Cola delivery man Daddy delivers "happiness" and a "safer environment". I'm thinking more like "obesity", "empty calories" and "tooth decay". 
• Wakeup call to self: Stop seeking sympathy from others and grow a pair. Life's dealt you a difficult hand or two lately. So what?. Bitching irritates people. Fix it. Over and out. 
• Another "getting older/a-ha moment": I caught myself on the biffy, chuckling aloud at "Pickles" in the Journal comics. 
• Have you ever been physically surrounded by people, yet felt all alone? It's not always a bad happenstance, just an odd one. 
• When you ask people for help, you're actually presenting them with a gift. 
• How on earth does my wife expect me to go through our multitude of toiletries and locate something called "vanishing cream"? 
• They've been gone for years and I think of them often. Today however, I really miss my Mom and Dad. 
• What is with we Canadians? Usually shy and reserved in public, we fall over ourselves and stop whatever we're doing to help a total stranger push their car out of the snow! 
• Isn't it just a little bit amazing when the words or writings of a complete stranger can touch you to your very core? 
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 
• Over the past year we've celebrated, loved and mourned. We've been staggered, stricken, lifted and enlightened by the sheer joy and heart wrenching dread of it all. Really, life's a trip. 
• I believe Facebook has the potential to be among our most powerful tools in the promotion of global goodwill and...wait a second. Some SOB just "UNFRIENDED" me?!?! Why, I'll KILL that mother effing... 
• We recently lost a close friend suddenly, incredibly, to an embolism. God called Dave Taylor home 13 months after marrying the love of his life. I thought writing this down would make it real. It doesn't. 
• Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 
• Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many available, why not try a different one each day? 
• My most fervent wish for this ongoing undertaking is to ensure it never resembles a list of fortune cookie quotations. 
• I have no misgivings about adoring Dave, our dog. His ability to adore us knows no boundaries. 
• The Oilers, the Eskimos and the Chicago Cubs are not, and will never be, a waste of my time. 
• There is no explaining why we make the choices we do until after we've made them, and then there's usually no point. 
• If something I've said or written can be taken two ways and you find one of them offensive, I meant the other one. 
• Like me, when your elders said "what goes around comes around", did you find it funny? Now you've witnessed life a bit more, like me, do you marvel at how funny it isn't? 
• Golf is God's way of keeping me humble while ensuring I never take myself too seriously. He's very efficient at that sort of thing. 
• Facebook is a wonderful social networking tool, no question. Still, at times I wish it would automatically edit me for "stupid". 
• A young woman recently thanked me as I held a door open for her. Seconds later, she snarled an obscenity at her husband/boyfriend. Question: Why are we nicer to strangers than people we care about? 
• As I've gotten older, I've found reconnecting with old friends can be a crapshoot. Lesson learned? Go for it. It may not work but there's a reason you were friends in the first place. 
• Feeling lousy about your life? Watch any episode of "Maury". You'll feel better, guaranteed. 
• You know the years are sliding by when you have to "rest up" before going out to dinner! 
• I'm always more puzzled than hurt when I find someone's lied to me. 
• When did being a "worry wart" become an "anxiety disorder"? 
• Another friends parent passed today. Having already lost mine and my in-laws too, I keep hoping the news gets easier to bear. It doesn't. 
• It's minus 42. My cars been plugged in all night and it still won't start. We live here why again? 
• I think we should change the name from "Christmas Day" to "PRESENTS DAY - FINALLY". Just a thought.. 
• The best thing about Christmas is EVERYTHING. 
• The best thing about Boxing Day isn't much. Leftovers maybe? 
• I've noticed something about my youthful athletic accomplishments, particularly in their retelling. The older I get, the better I was. 
• I hate "de-Christmasing" our house. It's the only time of year the place looks seriously drab to me, even just for a day or two. 
• It's tough being an Oiler fan this year. Our season started slow and has kind of tapered off... (sigh). Oh well, the Cubs start spring training soon! 
• With our basement in complete disarray for the last 4 months, I've apparently determined this is the time to redefine "procrastination". 
• Is there a chance some of these kids so quickly diagnosed with "attention deficit disorder" are what we used to call "brats"? 
• Is there a chance some of these kids so quickly diagnosed with "Tauret's" are what we used to call "effing rude"? 
• Are there any behaviours left that DON'T have an associated "diagnostic title"? 
• I happened across a former co-worker/friend's obituary this morning. I grieve for his friends and family but selfishly, I grieve for my diminishing mortality as well. 
• Married over 43 years and my wife still cracks me up, pretty much at will. Lucky, lucky man... 
• I've a friend who still uses his fingers as parentheses when making a point. I love the guy but please God, make him stop. 
• Don't you hate it when certain behaviours on A and E's "Intervention" or "Hoarders" remind you of someone you know or worse yet, yourself? 
• Wow. Writer's block really DOES exist! Who knew? 
• The word "proud" is inadequate and pedestrian when applied to my admiration for my son, James and his lovely wife, Catherine. 
• I've a friend whose opinion on a "hot box" subject is the polar opposite of mine. She's passionate, intellegent and I respect her position. She cannot or will not reciprocate and now our friendship has ended. How very stupid. 
• It's nice the Canadian Government is matching my contribution to Haitian relief. But isn't that MY money too? 
• This morning I took steak out for dinner. Sue said she wanted sweet potato fries. I said "Okay" and when I served the fries, the first thing she said was, "What happened to the steak?" We men are so literal. 
• Tested the strength of your relationship lately? Buy $2K worth of IKEA stuff and renovate a room together. That'll do it. 
• The 2010 Olympics were terrific beyond my wildest expectations but if I hear that insipid "I Believe" theme music even one more time, a total mental disconnect cannot be ruled out. 
• Whichever merchandiser originated "restocking fees" had no concept of customer service. 
• Sue and I have seen more 2009 Oscar nominated movies than any year either of us can recall; TWO! Of course it doesn't hurt there's ten listed this year instead of the usual five... 
• It may be me and my "advancing years" but it seems IKEA instruction sheets are not as clear as they once were. All pictures, no words. 
• We're driving over 200 KMs next Sunday to have lunch with a dear couple we've not seen in over 30 years! How cool is that?!? 
• Today a laid off employee entered his former workplace, killed one man, gravely wounded another then killed himself. Naively, I'm still astonished when horror manifests itself as reality. 
• Not to gloat but unlike pre-retirement, "springing ahead" into Daylight Savings Time no longer has much of an impact on my life or daily activities. 
• I recently slipped on an icy walk and took a genuine prat fall. I wasn't hurt but I can't believe how much it frightened me. Where has my bullet proofing gone? 
• Generally, funerals suck. Ones including a lone piper are worse. If there's anyone out there with influence concerning my final arrangements, I beg you, no bagpipes. 
• Reality check: Today a neighbor referred to me as "that nice old guy from down the block" when he thought I was out of earshot. "Nice" is a positive thing, I suppose. 
• My new "something-to-do" retirement job involves stocking shelves at a book store weekdays from 5 a.m. to 9 a.m. I've always been a relatively early riser and I love this gig, but the sound of an alarm clock at 4:00 a.m. is just wrong.  
• Since his recent public fall from grace, Tiger Woods fell from American Dream status to full-on creep in a nano-second, all thanks to the wonders of the modern media machine. 
• I vividly recall a similar reaction to the O.J. Simpson scenario. The crime totally contradicted his percieved personna and it appeared to evolve through a guaze of make believe. 
• To me, the best thing about Facebook happened today. I had a phone conversation with a high school friend I've not heard from in 40+ years and the time melted away like ice cream on hot pavement. Fantastic. 
• My golf clubs are in the front hall, staring out the window, dreaming of novel ways to punish me in the morning. 
• Note to self: When you realize you sincerely detest specific actors in specific commercials, you're watching way too much TV. 
• I golfed with my pal Bryan today and he fired an 85; a terrific result. While I didn't score nearly as well, I feel as good as if I'd done it! Golf's a funny game that way. 
• It's odd how the passing of time can be as rewarding as it is cruel. It's a balance thing I suppose. 
• I just realized there's no expiration date on worrying about one's child. 
• Tonight Sue and I dined with a childhood friend of mine and his lovely wife. It had been 30 plus years since we'd seen each other but, magically, no time had elapsed. 
• (to be continued, like it or not, at the top of the list!)